Akatsuki's Night Out
by Yoizen
Summary: They were only playing cards 'til late into the night, and somehow, getting caught by Leader-sama led to a punishment/party every Friday...
1. Prelude and Chapter 1

A/N: So, yeah, this is my first fanfiction, and since I had nothing to do while watching my dad and a bunch of his friends playing cards, I decided to write something concerning the Akatsuki ('cuz I wanted to write a Naruto fanfic after reading MSkyDragons's "The Mating Frenzy") and playing cards. This is the result.

In the story, while referring to Zetsu, there is either a (Shiro-) or a (Kuro-) in front of Zetsu: it's to indicate which side of Zetsu is talking (Shiro, or white; Kuro, or black)

EDIT: My dad and his friends started playing at around 8 p.m. Guess when they finished? 1 o'clock in the MORNING…

* * *

><p>Prelude<p>

At the Akatsuki's hiding place, in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of night…

"Ace!"

"Two!"

"King!"

"Haaaaan…" Deidara sighed, shaking his head with annoyance. "Tobi, you can't put a king, un; the card has to be stronger than a two, which means you have to put down a—"

"Joker."

All heads, some with dropped jaws, others with twitching eyes, turn to face the silent Uchiha.

"And he wins again~~~" Kisame said in a sing-song voice while he gathered the money his fellow teammate won into a pile- in fact, a VERY big pile of money, seeing that Kakuzu was already sitting in a corner of the room, swearing silently about never gambling again (even though it wasn't _really_ gambling).

After shooting a sideways glance at his mourning partner, the Jashinist could hold his comments to himself no more.

"DAMMIT! ITACHI! YOU'RE #$%& CHEATIN' WITH YOUR #$%&%$# SHARINGANS!" Hidan shouted as he whipped out his scythe. "I'LL HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN 'CUZ I LET YOU WIN 36 –wait, or was it 37?- TIMES STRAIGHT IN THIS POKER GAME!"

"Continue to complain and I will _really_ activate the Sharingan: it will be 72 hours straight of cutting you up in pieces then burying you alive."

"Shit."

"Why don't we play another round and see if Itachi wins again?" asked (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"We don't have anything to bet left," retorted (Kuro-) Zetsu.

"I know! We can just bet Tobi, and if we win, since Itachi and Kisame won't have anything to do with him, we'll just eat him!" exclaimed (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Ugh! Can't you guys be a bit quieter? I'm trying to play house with my puppets…"

Knock. Knock.

The hairs on the neck of every Akatsuki member of the room pricked up, including Kisame's scales.

"Ah fuck! It's the leader and his bitch!"

The card players all panicked and were shoving the cards, the money, the table, and the puppets away in their respective hiding place. The atmosphere was punctuated by many comments such as:

"Why don't we just blow everything up with a clay bomb?"

"My puppets won't survive the explosion, so that's a definite NO!"

During the ruckus, the money loving immortal tried to steal back some of his cash.

"Kakuzu, I saw that," the fish man declared while clearing his throat.

"_Darn it,_" thought the "thief" as he reluctantly gave his "rescued wealth" back to the blue money-guard.

Just as the last suspicious proof about Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu slacking off when supposed to plan their next move on capturing Bijuu, the almighty Akatsuki leader walked in, followed by a half-awake Konan.

Pein scanned the dimly-lit room with his Rinnegans, an I-know-you-guys-have-been-slacking-off-and-not-planning-anything-about-capturing-bijuus look on his face.

Then, he let out a sigh.

"What have you guys been doing all night? You do realize that Konan can't sleep because of all the noise you guys make?"

He spared a glance at her while saying that; the blue haired kunoichi had found her a place on the couch and was already asleep.

His eyes wandered a bit, and they spotted a hastily put away playing card under one of the corners of the couch.

"Poker, is it? Or some kind of playing card game? Guess I'll join the game."

Suddenly, Hidan felt a nudge on his side. Kakuzu's whispers reached his ears:

"Don't swear in front of the boss!"

Chapter 1: The Announcement

The next day, around midday…

Most of Akatsuki's members stayed in bed 'till now, either they were too sleepy to get up, too lazy to open their eyes, or they were just having really good dreams…

"AHHHHH!"

… or in some cases, really bad nightmares that just happened to wake them up at this moment.

"Fuaaah," yawned Kisame. "Itachi-san, what are you going to use the money you won on?"

Itachi did not answer.

"What's for breakfast, un?" asked a sleepy Deidara.

"Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi woke up at six in the morning to make Deidara-sempai's breakfast, but Tobi didn't think that Deidara-sempai would wake up so late, so Tobi ate your pancakes!"

That left Deidara with a killing intent as he wrestled Tobi on the floor.

…

Everyone finished brunch (Konan made pancakes and bacon for everybody) and were about to get to their own business when…

"Eh-hem."

Every black and red coated member turned to face their boss. Something was coming at them, maybe a punishment of their behavior last night?

"I know that recently, you guys have been slacking off," said Pein in a grave voice. "That brings serious consequences. Everyone will have to help Konan with the housework…"

"Dang it!" cursed Hidan silently.

"… including myself," finished Pein.

Every person in the room (except of course the Rinnegan user) was bewildered by this unexpected announcement.

"I have to admit, last night's "poker" was pretty fun," continued the leader. "Therefore, I have a proposition: Every Friday, it will be an 'Akatsuki's Night Out', for ten weeks. There will be a different host each Friday. He or she decides what we will do that Friday night. What do you guys think of it?"

"I do suppose we need a break after the work we did…" said (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"Even though we didn't _really_ do anything…" muttered Sasori.

"You said something, Sasori no Danna?" asked Deidara.

"Nothing," replied the puppeteer.

And so, everyone agreed to Pein's plans for ten week.

"So how are we going to choose the host?" inquired Kisame.

"I got that figured out."

Pein took out an old, dusty jar.

"Everyone's name is already written on a piece of paper and inserted in this jar. I will draw out the name of the person hosting the night every Saturday morning. He—"

Konan shot him a sideways glance.

"—or she will have more or less one week to decide on what they want to do on ANO."

"ANO?" questioned Kakuzu, raising an eyebrow.

"Slang for 'Akatsuki's Night Out', since I find it a bit too long," answered their boss.

"He just made that up…" mumbled Hidan, rolling his eyes.

"Then it's decided! Tomorrow, a Saturday, I will draw a name out of the pot."

…

Saturday, in Pein's office (if he does have one)…

Pein sat behind his desk, staring at the dirty, brown pot, about to draw a name out of it. He put his two hands on either sides of the jar and shook it carefully, using the right amount of power to mix up the slips of paper inside. Then, he took of the lid; making big grey clouds of dust dissolve into the air, and shoved his hand inside. His fingers lingered through the little pile of paper, trying to decide which one he should draw. His grasp closed on one of them, he withdrew his hand and read the name out loud.

"Akasuna no Sasori (Sasori of the Red Sand), huh…"

After, the leader thought, "_Hope he doesn't make us play house with puppets_."

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><p>AN: After re-reading the 1st chapter, I find it difficult to believe that Pein actually could have said that… Anyways, please review! Visit profile for publishing info!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Night at the Museum

It's been three days since Sasori got informed about having to host the first "ANO". The puppeteer was sitting on his bed, racking his brains, thinking about what he should make the others do that Friday night. After a long moment of pondering over the possibilities (which were few), he made up his mind.

…

Friday night, Sasori's night…

Sasori was holding a speech, babbling away about art.

"… To conclude, from my point of view, art is something beautiful that last for eternity."

The audience applauded.

"Enjoy your visit."

The crowd got up. Almost immediately, the hall was filled with the noise of nine people talking at the same time. Sasori grinned. The night was so far, so good. Bringing the Akatsuki to his old museum in Sunagakure was a good idea after all.

Sasori wandered around, looking here and there at his fellow shinobis, letting the "Ooh"s and "Aah"s create a bubble of pride every time he heard it.

"Of course I should be proud," he thought. "I have created more than 300 puppets by hand, about a half of the original, less-used puppets are displayed here, and even though the others are only duplicates of the battle marionettes, nonetheless, I made the imitations myself."

…

"Hey, Sasori! Mind if you show us around a bit?"

Sasori turned to see who was speaking. It was Hidan, followed by Kakuzu. Hidan had an old, worn-out pamphlet giving a detailed explanation about the past exhibition in his hand, and Kakuzu was scribbling away in a notebook. The puppet master noticed that the pamphlet had shoe prints on it, and guessed the poor brochure was left on the floor instead of the recycling bin.

"Sure," replied Sasori.

Then he looked at Kakuzu, wondering what he was doing. At the same moment, Kakuzu asked," How much money in total were the materials used to create the puppets here?"

Sasori put an "I should have known" expression on his face.

"All of my puppets are created from human corpses, including the fakes. The materials are also taken directly from nature: I do not need to buy them," retorted the ex-Sand nin. "Besides, this museum is no longer used. I just happen to have the keys to it."

"Oh."

Kakuzu was filling in the cost of building and maintaining the museum.

…

"What's your favorite puppet?" asked Kisame with interest.

"This one."

Sasori pointed his finger at a puppet with black hair in a showcase.

"Whoa… From whose remains does it come from?"

"The Third Kazekage."

The one who spoke was not Sasori, but Itachi.

"So you know about him?" questioned the red head.

"He had a unique Kekkei Genkei: his ability to use Iron Sand."

"That's why he is my favorite puppet. Very maneuverable and has a lot of weapons installed."

"Wasn't Hiruko your favorite?"

"Bah, I like both of—"

"Oi! Sasori no Danna! What did y'a mean when you said 'Unlike others who think art is something evanescent' in your speech, un?"

Deidara was at the end of the long hallway, coming straight for Sasori at full speed.

"Ah, that? Nothing in particular…"

"So why did it take me such a long time to find you, un?" exclaimed the "insulted" terrorist bomber.

"Must be because you have an eye covered up and can't see me when I'm passing?"

"No, un! It's because you've been avoiding me all the time, un!"

The two artists were already nose to nose. Deidara's face was lit up by the flames of anger, a vein popping on his forehead. Sasori's was bathed in calamity and showed nothing that could betray his innocence; in fact, Deidara had precisely hit the bull's eye.

"Whatever…"

"Hold it! I'm not satisfied without settling this with a fight, un."

With a sigh, Sasori accepted the challenge.

"Then a fight it is."

…

What the Akatsuki were doing during the duel between Sasori and Deidara:

The duelers:

Deidara: he made half of the museum explode, taking some unimportant marionettes down with the explosion.

Sasori: he "evacuated" his most important puppets, using them in battle too, and had to summon (from scrolls) his original battle puppets.

The Akatsuki outside, watching the heated combat:

Hidan and the Zestus: they cheered the fight on, both (or the three of them) obsessed by bloodshed.

Konan: she was sitting in a big debris of rock (Deidara's doing), chin in her hands, tired after a sleepless night.

Pein: he tried calming the two artists down, not wanting anything to do with the Suna ninjas.

The Akatsuki inside (or more in a semi-demolished museum), still fleeing (a bit) the tumbles of rock coming from overhead and the unexpected explosions on the side:

Itachi: he was interested in finding out if Sasori made a puppet with an Uchiha; and if it was the case, he wanted to recover the body and replace it where it was supposed to be.

Kisame: he followed his partner, looking about, still fascinated by the (partly-annihilated) marionettes.

Kakuzu: he wanted to find out the cost of repairing the museum and the value of the blast-up puppets.

Tobi: well, he just carelessly wandered about in the half-destroyed galleries.

…

Not too far away, in the sand sibling's apartment…

A faint explosion made the Shukaku bearer stir.

"What was that?" asked Gaara.

"Must be the wind," grumbled a not-too-keen of being awakened Temari.

"Hmph."

Gaara tried to go back to sleep, but sounds of the distant battle still reached his ears.

"_It seems like there's something going on near the abandoned museum… Maybe enemies trying to infiltrate the Sand_?" reckoned the Kazekage to be.

"Do you hear that?" he asked again, this time to his brother.

"Nah, must be your imagination," mumbled Kankuro.

…

The second Saturday, back at the Akatsuki's hideout, early in the morning…

"Hey, Pein, wake up… You need to draw out a name for the next "ANO"…"

Konan sat on the edge of the bed, trying to get Pein out of bed. The latter groaned and uttered something inaudible then went back to his deep sleep.

"Haaaa… If you continue to doze on, I'll go and take out a name instead."

No response. With a last glance at Pein, Konan got up and walked out of the room.

…

In Pein's office…

The blue-haired kunoichi rummaged her hand through the remaining slips of paper in the brown pot. She chose one and took it out (unlike Pein, who would take his time to do that). She took a glimpse of the name.

"Oh great. Nagato's turn is next."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the wait! I was out of ideas for Sasori, so the first two days after the first release I was racking my mind for something he could do. Was this a bit… unexpected? Anyways, the 16th-17th, I went rafting and played Mahjong when I stayed at a hotel (hint, hint! ^_^ I'm also basing my fanfic on personal experience…). Next chapter: Pein's turn!


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